The Angel in me.

[Amy Heaney]

I've been really sad today. I saw by chance that it was full moon too. I keep thinking of me - the angel in me. Being an Angel Incarnate isn't easy. Especially given the mission. I'm just sat here actually wishing that I wasn't, it'd be a lot easier, I could just be a "gifted human" then rather someone who's "doomedto die young/when their mission is complete". I can't really descibe it. I know one person who is, and I can feel that she is too. Although I fear that I'm no longer going to see her again. She lives acorss the globe and we met via. an online forum. Right now an error message keeps coming up on the forum ever since I sent her an email giving her ways to contact me. She's the only person who's path is similar to mine, and who, out of all the people who have claimed to be, I can just sense that she is. She's modest and, as far as I know, has as many gifts as me. Though, I never used to fear death, I understood it. Why grieve or be scared of going to somewere better? It's not the end. However, after describing what I saw of heaven, and what angels look like I keep feeling down/depressed about being an angel incarnate. I really don't think it's a good thing.

I'm currently tutoring a girl about astral projection. I taught her how to shield herself before she went there so that she wouldn't be attacked on her first time. Now the guardians of that realm keep coming to her and asking how she does this stuff, then mentioned me and that I was a good fighter. I guess I'm just spiritually exhausted, which only seemed to happen around the time of the Full Moon.

I'm going to meditate, see if I can find answers. When I teach the girl about AP, gifts like empathy, telepathy, and so on. It feels right. I also hear God in my head (not ego, God), smiling at me and telling me that this is my path - to teach and lead others to him... in a non-preaching way. I have heard him say this path before (when he was being channeled through someone for me) but then I never knew how. Now people are just coming to me asking for assistance and advice. I enjoy it, though it's draining. I dislike being so many things when it would be easier to just be one? People complain and wish that they were more than one thing, however it's so hard. I don't understand why people would wish it. I should be greatful, and I am. However I still need to understand how all of my gifts are connected as one, not seperate ones. Until then, my path will remain hard.


Anasopiah.